Dead Worms

One strange thing i have noticed lately, besides the leaves already changing color, is that there are an awful lot of dead worms dried up on the road or the side-walk. I first noticed them after a rainstorm, but I didn't think that a little rain would cause that many worms to flee from their homes only to be caught a rush of water and flushed to their death by sun. I know it is normal for worms to do that, but there are so many! You will be happy to know that I have not taken any photos of this occurrence, so you are spared from seeing it.

But enough of philosophical questions...

So as I have stated, I was not accepted into Outdoor Ed Staff training. BUT ITS ALL GOOD! I know that God has a plan for me, and by closing that door, he opened another: crew! It's great because I have a lot of friends rowing and I am a D1 athlete! I mean how many people (besides football players) can say they have been a D1 athlete? Plus, even though it is not kayaking, I get to be out on the water everyday. That in itself is a blessing.

I am not sure if all of you know that I am still taking voice lessons up here. I have a wonderful teacher, Neva Pilgrim, who is a dear and wonderful woman. She happens to be the reason I looked at Colgate. My voice teacher from home, Dewin Tibbs, is a friend of hers and told me that I should look at Colgate because he knew someone he that he would trust with my voice. I love Neva dearly. I am not at the point where I am in control of my voice and I must learn the artistry in singing. That can be translated into: I sound good, now for the details. Always encouraging, never overbearing, Neva is the kind of person whose faith in me boost my faith in myself. I am learning so much and enjoying every step of the way.

With all the good things here at Colgate, of course there is always a little rain cloud in the back corner. This pesky cloud happens cause illness. Yuck. Flu season is about to start and students are being to feel the first waves. I believed that because I had been sick at the beginning, it would pass over me to the next victim. Boy was I wrong. My throat began to feel sore around wednesday; fine during the day, killer at night. But as each day passed, the pain lasted longer into the day and started earlier in the evening. I went to the health center yesterday to try and nip this thing in the bud before any other symptoms appeared. My strep test came back clean, but the Nurse practitioner was sill wary. I am still befuddled by his treatment option: He said that his gut told him it was a virus and that normally it would heal on its own, but because of the way my tonsils looked he believed that I would be calling back in 2 days. SO, to prevent it from getting any worse he prescribed me some antibiotics... Hmm. I guess that he thinks that the virus will go away, but I need to get on antibiotics to prevent a bacterial infection. Since I haven't been to medical school, I'm just going to follow the doctors orders. Oh but that is only part of the stubborn rain cloud. This morning I awoke to my eyes being surrounded in gunk. I did sleep in my contacts, but this had happened yesterday too except in milder form. My eyes were red and gross. Oh crap. Pink eye. I haven't touched anything that someone else might touch and I have washed my hands so many times I may need lotion soon. Luckily the redness has gone down and nothing is coming out of my eyes at the moment. Isn't this just the icing on the cake! I guess I will be back to the health center to sooner than he expected...

Woops this meant to be posted earlier...

Sorry, it has been a while, and even now I do not have that much time.

Just a quick update:
I did not get into outdoor ed staff training (sad day!)
BUT
I am now a D1 athlete on the crew team!
Flu season is about to start... ugh, and I need to go get a flu shot (though my throat is already swollen, yikes!)
Anyway... oh great, the weather has changed once again, from sunny to rain. Why can't it make up its mind?
OH! I fixed the comment boxes so you can now post your thoughts! YAY!
Now I have to go play doctor and fix my friends finger. Razors are not fun.

Lots of Love!!!!!!!
Palmer

Aren't You Jealous?

Today, Sophie, Michelle and I went on a walk on the trails behind the school. We traversed the hiking trails and plan to explore the cross country ski trails another day. Here is a glimpse at our "backyard" (the top of the old golf course overlooking Colgate)
Awesome trees
Into The Woods
Wish you were here!

Oh and I want to send a shout out to one of my favorite people in the world and my amazing mentor Melina Coogan. If you are interested in reading some incredible writing check out her blog The Wilder Coast. Her writing is inspiring and spirit uplifting. We had a lovely chat last night after I found out she was only 30 minutes away. Unfortunately we were not able to reunite over coffee and chocolate, two of our favorite things, but it was close enough. I miss her and rarely see her. Yet each time I speak with her, I feel that we have not lost a single minute being apart.
I love you Melina!
Good luck and Bon Voyage!

Crazy Weather, Rejections, and All Sorts of Shenanigans

People warned me about the cold weather up in the north but no one ever mentioned how it never makes up its mind! In the past 15 minutes while i have been sitting on my bed, the weather has transformed from wet and gloomy to bright and sunny. And I have photos to prove it!


Anyway, the main reason I took these photos (before the weather went crazy on me) was to give you a taste of my little corner that I call home.I love being able to sit on my bed and look out the window. Its the perfect place to people watch at college. I see people hurry to class, trying not to be late, coeds flirting, guys throwing the frisbee on the quad, students lost in their music, oblivious to their surroundings. Though I am not cooped up 24 hours a day, I see why James Stewart resorted to observing his neighbors through his "Rear Window". It's fascinating watching people go about their lives. It is the perfect reality show: there are no masks or inhibitions, you are able to see the true person. In other words, if you cut out all my philosophical ranting, it's just fun.

Nothing world-shaking or mind-blowing has happened to me lately. My life has been pretty normal with school and social life. Of course there is always drama in everyday life, but it would be a waste of breath to articulate. I did audition for two a cappella groups last week. I only got a call back from one, the Dischords, who I had met last spring, and I thought it went great. But for some reason they couldn't accept me this semester. I can audition next semester for both groups, but that barely numbs the pain. My ego got in the way of reasoning and I was positive I would make one of the groups. It was part of my "Colgate plan". It goes to show that what we want is not necessarily what the big guy upstairs has in store, and we may bang our noses on a lot of closed doors before we find the open one.

Last week I applied and interviewed for the Outdoor Education Staff Training, which is a program that only takes 10-12 students a year and trains them to become staff members in the Outdoor program who lead other students of outdoor P.E. trips. It is an amazing program with wonderful people! When I visited last spring I was fortunate enough to stay with a staff member named Cal Crawford, who introduced me to the director of the program and all the other staff members. After spending time with them for only an hour or two, I knew that if I came to Colgate I wanted to be apart of that program. Yet whether I will be accepted is yet to be determined. I shoved my ego into a closet so it wouldn't get the better of my judgement, but that only makes it worse. It doesn't help that my roommate has also applied and is equally (maybe even more so) qualified to be given a position. Its a great thing we both love the outdoors, but we are both worried that they will not take one of us because we are roommates. We never planned this people!! Why would a coincidence be the determining factor on our acceptance?! AGH! I hate waiting!!!!!! deep breaths... deeeeeeep breaths..... Okay, I'm better.

But while I have been waiting I have gotten to know others who are outdoor enthusiasts. My neighbor is a NOLS alum and also a climber. This weekend he pulled out his slackline, which is a cross between a tight-rope and trampoline. In other words it is a thick rope you can walk across, and some even land flips. We were out there for a couple of hours and those curious enough would stop by to watch. Those brave enough (or stupid enough to try and impress friends) gave it a shot. I wish i had had one of these growing up, it was a blast!

"We Are Family!"

I have referred to my WA girls multiple times, the girls who I have bonded with and have become close friends with. Well, it is always nice to put a face to a name, so here they are!



I present to you, Michelle Van Veen, Palmer Miller, Kirstin Craig, and Sophie Dennis

A Crimson Gal in a Crowd of Yankee Boys

Only a southern, Alabama girl could sit in a "man cave" wearing an Alabama jersey, and cheer on the Crimson Tide. The guys here have never experienced a girl like me. Most of them were confused as to why a girl was sitting in there midst, and then even more baffled when I began cheering for the Tide. I wonder what will happen when I start yelling "rammer jammer yellow hammer..."? It doesn't hurt that The University is winning. It's a little sobering though; I am not surrounded by family or friends cheering on Javier Arenas or Mark Ingram. Instead I'm far from home, cheering on trent richardson running and julio returning. I am extremely jealous of those who are at the game!!! And these boys do not understand SEC football. Like Faulkner said, "The South. You can't understand it. You'd have to be born there." Sooooooooooooo true. I never saw the truth in that statement until moving up here. But anyway, I'm having a good time. I have the biggest smile on my face! ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Football, Rain, and Pearls

Hello everyone watching/reading from afar!
I cannot believe it has already been a week of school... it felt like a month. But that's not a bad thing! I am finally getting the hang of things! i have made a a wide variety of friends, memorized my class schedule, organized my bed/area (again), and I feel that I am beginning my discovery of who I am. Of course I haven't found my niche yet, that will continue to change over the year. I probably won't find one singular place for me to fit; that is not me. But I am enjoying the journey of confronting obstacles, discovering (and avoiding) temptations, and ultimately finding myself. Though I don't know whether this journey's purpose is to "discover who I am". I have always been lucky and been satisfied with being me. Yes, I have had ups and downs, but all in all I am pretty true to myself. So maybe the adventure through college is not necessarily about self-enlightenment, but more about personal refinement and not letting myself evolve into someone whose goal is to be accepted. It's great to be liked! But with college life swirling around me, my main challenge is to not get sucked into the temptations of approval. Because let's admit it, some of the things at college seem to be so much fun and as a girl, I want to be noticed! So here is to a year of self approval and strengthening who I already am!

Oh and here is my class schedule/list (since I didnt put it down last time):
- Harmony I: music theory 101; professor Swain who is amazing and wonderful!; mon, tues, weds, fri. 9:20-10:10 am
- Chem 101: first semester of general chemistry; professor chiansese who is in his 30s, wonderfully nerdy, and really nice; m,w,f 11:20am-12:10pm
- Legacies of the Ancient World (formerly known as western traditions but changed to be politically correct): core class i have to take to graduate; professor Kim who is a great teacher but kinda scares me... i don't want to be on his bad side!; m,w,f 12:20-1:10 pm
- Basics of Acting: freshman seminar; professor Georgea who is sooooo kind and amazing!!!! he is such a wonderful person and I love his daughter! he is Romanian, tall, and bald; tues, thurs 1:20-2:35pm

So that's what has been occupying my time as of late. Oh and there was a football game yesterday!! Being a southern collegiate I, as per tradition, wore a dress yesterday. I also had two auditions for a cappella groups so I needed to look nice anyway. SO, when I walked down to the tailgate, I realize that I am not in Kansas anymore. Everyone was is jeans (including girls!) and t-shirts. Even the Frat boys and sorrority girls were in casual garb. Oh and to make it even better I had happened to wear a dress that was blue... the color of the other team. But even though I may have stuck out amongst the sea maroon, I looked damned good! So I will hold my head high and wear dresses and pearls to football games, because I am a southern lady, and I must represent the South with class!

As I leave you now, I will exuent with this little piece of advice..... ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!!!!

"What is that" "I think its a skunk" "no, that thing is all black... oh sh** skunk! run!"

I am already tired. Emotionally, physically, mentally. Usually I have enough energy to last me a good month before I crash, but college hit me all at once, wiping away all that adrenaline. It's not a bad thing, I have enjoyed everything. I'm just one of the lucky ones who had the extra baggage dropped on top of them as soon as they arrived. I'm not complaining. Most of my friends comment on how many people I already know and how many guys I have made friends with. It usually puts a pep in my step to be known on campus, yet it fades because that's just me being myself. I like people and I put myself out there so that they will be comfortable around me. Yet even though I know so many people, it doesn't mean I am going to go over to there dorm, push open the door, and just sit on there bed. Ok, well maybe I would if I wanted to. Yet I feel tired and empty. Alone. There are people on this campus who would be there for me if I needed a shoulder to cry on, but I don't call out to anyone because I don't want to burden them with my load. All of the freshmen are in the same state, no matter how they show it. And even if I was to go to an upperclassman, I would feel little, immature, small. It is a constant roller coaster: boredom one moment, the next I can't pull the emergency brake. I still haven't finished organizing my room completely. Day by day i neaten it up a little more trying to find a place for each thing. I'm still trying to find my place. Because so much is happening and not happening all at once, I struggle to focus, balance my life. Pieces keep flying out of one box into another, appearing and disappearing. I'm frustrated because I don't know what is happening. I don't know where I will fit in here. What if I don't get into outdoor education? Not make an a cappella? what then? I want to close my eyes, tap my heels, then wake up with everything set in place, calm. Not that things won't be busy. But there will be an underlying rhythm beneath the chaos that will give me a sense of control. I will still be tired but maybe it won't be hard to live with...

Colgate is great, the perfect fit for me. The only thing I wish I could change would be to replace some of these yankees with southerners. Now I know boys will be boys no matter where they come from, but at least those raised in the south have the decency to turn on a filter when a woman is around. What I heard one boy say the other night shocked me. In all seriousness I thought to myself "Is that the mouth you speak to your momma with?" I'm afraid I may get in trouble one of the days for teaching a boy a lesson. Thankfully there are plenty of people to hang around so that I won't get in trouble. The girls are just like the ones back home. You have to learn which ones to avoid. Luckily I had already made friends with the girls of my WIlderness Adventure trip. Each one of us is different from the other yet we fit together perfectly. We have bonded on such a deep level that will extend throughout our college career. I am so lucky. Also, my roommates and I get along great. We kinda have to living in a forced triple. My dorm sits in the perfect location, central to everything, and I get exercise everyday from walking around. So far I could not ask for anymore.

Oh and if you are wondering, the title of this post is the conversation Sophie Dennis (one of my WA sistas) had last night on the freshman quad... oh what a night